My weight loss was motivated by a desire to move beyond my limitations. I was mentally exhausted from having to always think about how my weight might impact something.... whether that meant the activities I could choose on vacation with my husband (e.g., probably not even a moderate hike to get to a beautiful vista in Hawaii), to getting winded walking the stairs, to what I was going to wear to a semi-formal work event that didn't make me look horrible. That's a pretty low bar, right -- not looking horrible. Since when did my expectations get so low?
When I was overweight, my physical condition was literally almost always on my mind. I was constantly thinking about how bad of shape I was in, berating myself for not making a change, feeling guilty for my inability to take action, and then trying to assuage the feelings of guilt by eating, of all things. Every meal was a chance to remind myself that I was failing. Nice downward spiral, as you can imagine.
But that all changed late last year when a college friend (to whom I will be forever grateful) introduced to me to a weight loss protocol that changed my life. I started at the new year and have continued through cycles of loss and maintenance throughout the year. I hope you will be kind to me when you see my "before" picture, as I really hate that photo of me. But I also think it is important to show the change. Especially those who have seen me throughout the year are probably less likely to remember how I looked last year.
As you might imagine, I am thrilled with my progress. I am now in a different phase of maintenance such that I need to maintain my 74+ pound weight loss until the spring and decide whether I want to aim for just a little more. In the new year, I hope to start a strength training regimen and even participate in my first 5K in May.
What has been amazing to me is how much lighter I am not only physically, but psychologically as well. I still may fret about whether or not I have the right outfit, but my goal is now "looking my best" instead of "not looking horrible". I may not be able to do a long-distance hike, but I sure can do a lot more than a could just one year ago. The psychological "lightness" seems to impact issues beyond weight, too. Everything just feels a bit more within reach, whether that means getting our house in order so that we can put it on the market, or tackling a new project at work. I feel like a huge weight, both literally and figuratively, has been lifted from me.
Thank you, God, for the gift of my health.
